Thank you.
To the unconscious force that governs everything in the Universe, from life to the movement of the stars, thank you.
I thank you that (as far as anyone can tell) you didn't allow my grandmother to suffer when she passed away on Thanksgiving morning. I am thankful that she was alert and coherent and active up to the end. I am thankful that my grandmother, who was born in 1921 and lived through the second most segregated period of United States history (after slavery), lived to see an African American man elected to the presidency of the United States of America. I am thankful that though she was alone at her final moment, she was not alone as she approached it.
I am sorry I was not able to see her on the 15th of October, her birthday, when the rest of my family came down to visit her. I could not afford to make the trip. I am ashamed and embarrassed of that. I was close with her. With the loss of her, I lost a part of myself. When I couldn't make it for her birthday, I vowed nothing would stop me from coming down on Thanksgiving. I almost didn't make it, and my mother even told me it wasn't necessary. Eventually, we decided to come no matter what, but my grandmother died while we were en route. I hadn't seen her since 2004. I didn't view her body. I would never see her again.
I am thankful for my brother, Clifton, whom, despite everything he has dealt with and continues to deal with, has become a remarkable (though somewhat angry and tense) young man. I understand his anger and tension. I love him for it, as well as for everything else that is a part of him.
I am thankful, as well, for my brother Herman. He continually (unwittingly) teaches me to be thankful for that which you have because it could always be worse. For the wrong reasons, he also reminds me to stay on my toes, and to be completely covered in love - but not blinded by it.
I am thankful for my mother, who, among other things (through her actions), has demonstrated to me that a human being can withstand absolutely anything, as long as they have a firm belief in something. Hers is God (though tainted by religion). Mine is something else. But as long as one holds a firm (though not unchanging) belief in something, they will always have a place to draw strength from.
I am thankful for and to my fiancee' Simone, for any number of things - too voluminous to articulate. Most recently, I am thankful for her ability to watch a man shed tears as he watches the early stages of his family's collapse.
I am thankful for my cat, whom is far more independent than any cat I've ever known or known of, and who brightens every evening I come home.
I am thankful that I have the opportunity to live like a near-prince in Cleveland - one of the top four poorest cities in the nation. I came from one of the wealthiest cities in the nation, where I could no longer afford to live, to one of the poorest, and found work relatively easily in a place where no one else can.
Still can't afford a car. :)
I am thankful for so much more, but no less.
